Meet Your Coach

I was born in South Africa and raised on a farm by parents who were entrepreneurs. They were commercial scale farmers, and have owned businesses ranging from a restaurant, a gym, car dealerships, as well as having degrees in various Natural Health Fields.  

When I was 2 my parents did a road trip across the United States and moved to California to study Iridology with Dr. Bernard Jensen, before returning again to South Africa.

My years back in South Africa were before the end of apartheid. My parents were very politically active, and they took my siblings and I to many political rallies where we were teargassed multiple times. Even though my political views don't match those of my parents, I was still taught a valuable lesson about standing up for what I believe in. For me, that happens to be human rights, equality, and animal welfare.

Right after my 10th Birthday I sailed with my parents and 3 siblings across the Atlantic from South Africa to Miami, Florida on a 52ft Catamaran. Even though the average sailing trip across the Atlantic takes 3-4 weeks, we took our time and spent about a year and a half exploring the Caribbean island chain. Together we faced many challenges including a major storm when we rounded Cape Horn that pounded us with massive swells, and 19 days stuck in the doldrums (no wind) between St. Helena & Brazil where we started running out of food and fresh water.

(I don't recommend salt water spaghetti)

When we reached Florida we started planning for our move to the British Virgin Islands back in the Caribbean. On our journey to the USA we had fallen in love with the Islands known as "Nature's Little Secrets".

Once back in the Caribbean my family purchased a 2nd 40ft Catamaran that was outrigged for daysails and started term charters (week long trips) with our 52ft catamaran. Through a series of events that unfolded I ended up being the captain of the daysailer, taking up to 40 guests out on snorkeling trips to the surrounding islands. 

At 15yrs old this made me the youngest charter captain in the British Virgin Islands. For 3 yrs I ran the daysailer during the day and bartended (I was underage) at night to help my parents support our family of 6, after they hit some financial hardships.

That same year we attended a boatshow in St. Thomas, USVI during which we had a home invasion take place. Two armed men boarded our boat in the middle of the night. 

One man held a gun to my head while they ransacked our belongings. Strangely, I only had a few moments of fear. Somehow at such a young age I managed to trust that I would come out of this stronger. I actually acted a bit cheeky, and out of 6 of us I was the only one who ended up getting my mouth taped shut.

Shortly after the incident in St. Thomas one of my crew members became a close friend that would lead to more down the line. In fact, my parents would sign my marriage certificate for me to be able to marry him as a minor a mere 6 months after my 17th birthday. 

You see we are often drawn towards familiar things.

Our brains may be complex computers but sometimes it may simplify a feeling of familiarity as a feeling of safety, so it was only natural that at 17, having already lived on my own for 3 years, I ended up marrying a man who reminded me so much of my father. Unfortunately, at only 17, I was still blissfuly unaware of the existence of narcissists. 

My marriage lasted for 17yrs, and gave me my two beautiful children. My daughter was born 6 months after I turned 20, and my son was born just over 2 years later. These two incredible souls made my marriage worth while.

Over those 17yrs we lived in the British Virgin Islands, Florida, California, and Australia, owned a few different business, worked as a coach at a Natural Health Clinic in Australia, and even made it back to the islands before settling in California again in 2011. 

Together, my ex-husband and I, built a very successful yacht management company in Southern California.

Right after I turned 30, I suffered nerve damage from a muscle repair surgery and lived with constant pain for 5 years. During that time I struggled to work-out and went down a rabbit whole of unhealthy lifestyle habits, which caused me to reach almost 200lbs at my heaviest. 

It had gotten to a point where I seriously worried about my health. Diets had never really worked for me, and if they did the results were temporary at best. 

So, through trial and error I developed a program to help me lose the weight and keep it off, while being focused solely on my health. By implementing certain lifestyle changes I lost about 70lbs.

Little did I know at the time that this would be the birth of Xenlife Coaching's Personalized New Lifestyle Programs.

On my 35th Birthday my ex-husband suddenly served me with divorce papers. Among the many reasons given to me about why he made this quick decision, the only one that rang true was that since we had been married so young he had felt that the grass may be greener on the other side. 

For me, the grass has certainly been more vibrant...

“Grass is greener at other people’s feet because they watered it. You need not to let your environment control you; you have what it takes to make it look beautiful!”

-Israelmore Ayivor

My Work:

My life experiences have always guided me towards various methods of self discovery and personal growth. It was only natural that I would find myself back in the coaching world.

I have worked internationally as a coach, and when Covid-19 struck, I moved my sessions online. 

My past experience with Narcissists in my life made me work on myself constantly to counteract the negativity.

After my divorce I noticed the lack of support for people coming out of narcissistic relationships & narcissistic family dynamics. I am currently working on creating a supportive & healing environment for narcissistic abuse survivors to recover from their experiences. 

This gives me the opportunity to keep up with one of my other passions, real estate investment. 

Being mobile allows me to move around for property projects, and I am currently in the California desert where I am developing a 5 acre project. Being out in the desert with some covid delays on the property has given me the 

peace & quiet to start writing a book on 

Narcissism & Healing Trauma.

My Family:

My babes are now young adults. 

My daughter, Jade, has a large public following on social media and uses her voice to stand up for human rights. She has become a great Coach using art to help heal our clients.

Both my children have over 750+ volunteer hours.

My son, Tyde, was awarded the 

Presidential Volunteer Service Award in 2016.

 I couldn't be a prouder mamma!

Together they took a month and did a Van Life trip from California to Canada and back.

It's our family dream is to sail around the world together.

For Fun:

When I’m not coaching I am out in nature, on an adventure with my kids, in a hammock with a book, doing yoga, working on my personal growth, or shutting down by playing board games or video games. 

With the time I lost helping support my family at 15, being in a controlling marriage by the age of 17, paired with the years I had nerve damage, the one thing I fear is “missing out”.  So many things to do & see… So little time.

 Life is truly an epic adventure!

My commitment is to provide my clients with personalized step-by-step guidance, a suitable game plan, accountability, and emotional support.

"You can get everything in life you want 

if you will just help enough other people get what they want." 

-Zig Ziglar

 I love being able to help people step out of their chaos and watch them gently slip into a space of personal growth, healing, and acceptance.

It's my hope to help my clients make the switch from dieting to New Lifestyle Programs focused on health, instead of the unhealthy ups and downs of dieting.

It is my dream to create a nonprofit organization that helps women get back on their feet after being in toxic relationships. 

I want to help them remember their true potential and self worth, and provide them a safe space to learn, grow, and heal from their past trauma, while feeling completely safe & supported.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

 -Ralph Waldo Emerson

For the moment I offer a few cost-free sessions a week to help women who are in bad situations & unable to pay for services, as well as donating annually to organizations who help abuse victims (Humans & Animals)